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| The Chunk |
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Everyone has a type of music that they most strongly identify with. Mine so happens to be metal. When I look back to the albums that shaped my tastes in music, heavy metal is right there at the very beginning. Let me tell you about my metal story. It all started at my Grandma's house. My parents would drop me off over there in the summer and I would spend most days cruising around the block, hanging out with other kids and doing random kid shit. One kid on the block was in a similar situation, except he was at his aunt's. They had an Atari 2600, so I spend a good deal of time hanging out at this kids pad. This kid had some uncles or something that lived there, and they were notorious for playing loud devil music in the garage. Well, Pitfall and Missle Command can only hold one's attention for so long, and those uncles in the garage seemed like they were up to no good. The garage became the promised land, it was our portal to what the older dudes were up to, and maybe provided some insight into what was so fascinating about the music they were playing. One day, we snuck in while the uncles were out, and the things I discovered in that garage helped form my idea of what was cool and what sucked.
We cracked the door and I noticed that it smelled funny. Like smoke, but sweeter. There were a few guitars, a drum kit, and a stereo with a few crates of records around and old sofa. The perfect hesh garage, in other words. My friend was busy snooping around the instruments, but I headed straight for the record crates. I started leafing through them, not bothering to read much, just looking at the pictures. I got to one picture and it kinda scared me, but I liked the reaction it caused. It was a sort of half zombie/half devil sort of thing, and the name of the record was Iron Maiden-Purgatory. I leafed through a few more and found a picture of some guy dressed like a school boy laying dead on the stage with a guitar neck sticking out of his back. The name of that band was AC/DC, and I found out a couple of years later (at my Christian elementary school) that that stood for "all children/devil's children". Oh man, this was some scary new shit, and I just had to know what it was all about. So started my fascination with heavy metal.
Oh, and those "uncles" I was referring to? Check this out. A few years later, I was grocery shopping with my mom at Lucky's. I grabbed a copy of the latest issue of Circus because James Hetfield was on the cover and Metallica was the shit. We are going through checkout and the checker, a full grandma type (who looked pretty familiar for some reason) looks at my magazine and says, "Hey, do you like that band?" while pointing at James' picture. I almost said "fuck yeah!" but avoided the inevitable backhand from mom by leaving out the "fuck". She then says "Well that's my nephew". Right then and there everything clicked. This lady was the old aunt that lived on the corner of my grandmas block, and her nephew was one of the "uncles" from the garage. Holy shit! I had always heard that Metallica came from Norwalk, but I was too young to have gone to any of their backyard shows. I just managed to sneak into their practice space and rummage through their record collection between Atari 2600 sessions. So there you have it, that was my introduction into metal. I don't think I could have asked for a better one.
Over the years, I have analyzed what exactly I like about heavy metal and I have broken it down into a couple of basic elements. One, obviously, is speed. But the other is a little less clearly defined. It's what I call "chunk". What is chunk? Read the following series of letters out loud while imitating a Gibson Flying V electric guitar:
"zzzhhhnnk-gunk-gahduhnk-dunk"
There are a few practitioners of the chunk, but only one band rode that fucking sound to ultimate success and glory. Listen to the chunk in action:
Orion
I think that Cliff Burton was the ultimate master of chunk, but Jason Newstead did a pretty good job too. Check this out:
The Shortest Straw
Now, I used to think that the chunk was a result of one instrument. After further analysis, it seems to be the ultimate metallic symbiosis between guitar and bass. And I literally cannot fucking get enough of it. Neither, apparently, could Metallica. They turned the chunk up to eleven on And Justice For All. This slightly bloated magnum opus of thrash has blown more than one pair of speakers in my house, much to my amusement. Sadly, this was also the zenith of Metallica's career arc, and they are currently parodies of their former selves. I guess everyone changes, but I saw that "Some Kind of Monster" documentary, and it was comically sad. Anyway, I guess I just wanted to talk about the chunk with you all and thank heavy metal for all that it has given me. Except for the bad tattoos.
Oh yeah, one last thing on the subject. While Metallica perfected the chunk, Black Sabbath were the inventors. Case in point:
Into the Void
Since it's been like a year since I wrote the last editorial, I have saved up a metric assload of links to share. Let's see how many of them still work. Ah, here's a
funny little deal. It's the Top 10 Rap Songs White People Love. If you have every been out to karaoke, I practically guarantee you heard some white dude perform at least one song on this list.
The List
Ever seen Metalocalypse? It may be the best cartoon ever made. Anyway, here's a guitar lesson from Skwisgaar Skwiggles.
Duncan Hills coffee jingle
"Hey Roy, is the music industry still dead?" Yup. Here's an article about their 20 biggest screw ups. What is it about music fans and lists? Anyway, it's a fun little
read.
Who reads Blender?
"But what about rap?" Dying too, at least according to Q-Tip:
Q-Tip speaks
Have you heard The Sword yet? It's good stuff, but you don't have to take my word for it. Go listen to some tracks on their Myspace page:
It's metal, by the way
And I will wrap things up on a light note. This guy is dedicated to his MC Hammer. So much so that he's got the whole gig down. Check out Mom in the background, something tells me that it's a pretty normal thing for this dude to be performing in the living room. She doesn't stop knitting once.
Can't touch this
That's it for now. Til next time...
Roy Starin
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