Big Hairy Fat Juicy Nuggets!
I got a call from my friend, I’ll call him Mary, and what he laid down on me was way more then I could believe. Was it my Back Med’s playing tricks on my brain? “No” he insisted “It’s for Real!” He invited me to go and check some out with him that very night, one exception being he’d have to check with the finder, we’ll call him Jane.
Jane is not too stoked on bringing an outsider in as he has his business to take care of. Mary vouches for me above and beyond and we set a time that very night. Let’s meet at the Pipes and see if they wanna smoke them. Of course, I gotta see what the real story is with my own eyes. I had several hours to kill and couldn’t keep away from the kind Bud calling to me so I went ahead of the meeting time before sundown because I still didn’t believe these long round smokers were real. I was on heavy meds I remind you. I found them but not after having to call in to my dealer first thus exposing my weekness. “I’m a pipe fiend, I can’t help it” I cry, “please tell me one more time how to find them…”. It’s a good thing to be good to your dealer so he let me slide this one time and he would meet me there shortly after dark.
So I’m in the neighborhood next to the smelly pipe BUD company and I finally find them by myself. I looked through the Green Bushes and see them gleaming pipes sparkling under the moonlight. I snuck over to them under the cover of the darkness and saw 6 perfectly constructed, stainless steel, 20 feet around, beauties waiting to pack in the herbs for some smoking. My camera is so freaking tweaked out, like me, that it can’t focus it’s (Austin Powers Dr. Evil Style)’Laser Beams’ to even bring home a shot that night. Needless to say we didn’t have enough matches to fire up this massive pipe, this was going to take some preparations.
The next day Mary had called Jane and they set up a very tight lipped session. That next evening we Lit that Pipe and smoked it clear through. We were so freaking high I thought we were inside the space shuttle rocket engines. I guess mixing pain meds and Full Pipes is not a great idea so they say I didn’t even ride. I coulda swore I did.
I asked Jane about a little history of these pipes for this article and he came through with flying colors. He said “we found them on the way to skate Glendale or something like that”. First time went like this, “We first rode the pipes 2 1/2 months ago. Just me and Carlos with a flashlight running on dead batteries. We didn’t know about security or the neighbors. Carlos tried to take one pass, but was too excited and he fell trying to roll the flat, I took one run and we split”. Incredibly Jane also noted the amount of pipes and pipe riders “About five guys have ridden it. You should know that there are 6 pipes now. I think the total # of pipes we have skated is 18. They showed the pipes on the news, saying that ‘These giant beer kegs aren’t full of beer, they are full of skaters”, something to the effect of that.”
The next time I was invited to the party I suggested bringing in a big gun to shoot some pics. The communication got scrambled between Mary and Jane and when we arrived there the vibe wasn’t of the utmost. Anyways ecnaL got freaked out by the volume of the pipe and split after a few short rides and a spliff sessi… I mean split session on the pipe. He smoked it pretty hard though. I don’t think he liked hanging with the Valley Dogs smoking the pipe. The pipe smoking went on. For a few more weeks even. Then off, then back on, and back off, just like working the carb on your bong.
When all was said and done the pipes were kept way low on the radar in the middle of one of the worlds most Densely Packed population areas. I never even got to smoke from these pipes because my back is jacked, but I witnessed the High Times inside the biggest Bud Pipes and bring you back these photos of the elicit behavior.
